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A MadeForMums feature published for Bullying Prevention Month describes subtle changes parents said preceded discovering their children were being bullied. ONS figures cited in the report show that many children aged 10 to 15 in England and Wales who experienced bullying did not tell anyone; behavior changes can be warning signs, but do not by themselves confirm bullying.
A MadeForMums report published for Bullying Prevention Month in October describes how changes such as anger, school avoidance, withdrawal and attempts to hide aspects of appearance led some parents to discover their children were being bullied. The feature pairs parent accounts with Office for National Statistics figures showing that some children who experienced in-person or online bullying did not tell anyone; the signs discussed are possible indicators, not proof that bullying is occurring.
The report cites ONS estimates for the year ending March 2023: 35% of children aged 10 to 15 in England and Wales experienced an in-person bullying behaviour, while 19% experienced an online bullying behaviour. Among children who experienced those behaviours, 14.7% did not tell anyone about in-person bullying and 18.1% did not tell anyone about online bullying, according to the figures quoted by MadeForMums.
Parents who shared experiences with the MadeForMums Club described changes that were not immediately understood as signs of bullying. One parent said their son initially thought the behavior was a game. He later became increasingly angry, spoke negatively about himself and refused to go to school. The family used play therapy and drawing to help him express what was happening. The report says he is now home educated and that his family describes him as happier.
Another parent, Neha, said her daughter was targeted over visible upper-lip hair. She noticed her daughter trying to pull out the hair and wearing her hair to cover her face before the child explained the bullying. Neha said it took open conversations for her daughter to disclose what had happened, and that she has since become more willing to tell her parent about school incidents.
When Behavior Changes Raise Concern
The accounts show why a child’s distress may not arrive as a clear report of bullying. A child might describe hurtful behavior as a joke, fear that speaking up will damage a friendship, feel embarrassed, or blame themselves. Parents may first see anger, self-critical comments, withdrawal or school refusal without knowing what has prompted them.
MadeForMums spoke with Alexander Kopelman, founder and president of the Children’s Arts Guild and author of For Real: Helping Children Remain Their Authentic Selves in a Limiting World. He suggests watching for a child becoming more guarded or giving up interests and ways of expressing themselves. That pattern can prompt a calm conversation, but it cannot establish on its own that bullying is the cause.
The report also notes that the NSPCC lists changes in behavior, appearance and emotional wellbeing as possible indicators, while stressing that they do not necessarily mean a child is being bullied. Paying attention to persistent or out-of-character changes can help a parent ask what is happening rather than dismissing distress or treating one sign as a diagnosis.
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What the Report and Figures Cover
The article was published for Bullying Prevention Month in October and is based on two kinds of material: accounts shared by parents in the MadeForMums Club and comments from Kopelman. Its discussion includes in-person behavior and online messages, which can extend upsetting interactions beyond school hours.
The statistics are from the ONS for England and Wales, for children aged 10 to 15 and the year ending March 2023. The report distinguishes between experiencing an in-person bullying behaviour and an online bullying behaviour, and separately states the proportions of affected children who did not tell anyone. These figures describe that specific age group, place and period; they should not be read as a current count or as evidence about every child’s experience.
There is no definitive checklist, the report says. Signs such as changing appearance, spending less time with friends or avoiding school can have different explanations. The accounts are individual experiences rather than a survey of parents, and the article does not claim that every child who shows these changes is being bullied.
“We noticed it happening, but my son thought it was just a game.”
— A parent who shared an account with the MadeForMums Club
Signs Do Not Confirm Bullying
The report does not establish how often each warning sign occurs, or how reliably any one change points to bullying. Behavior changes can have other causes, and the parent accounts are not presented as a representative study. ONS figures cited in the article cover the year ending March 2023, not the present day, and do not explain why individual children did not disclose their experiences.
It is also unclear from the feature how widespread particular forms of bullying, such as exclusion or appearance-based comments, were among the children represented in its parent accounts. The article does not provide a single assessment tool that can determine what is happening. A change should be treated as a reason to listen and ask questions, not as confirmation of bullying.
In the case of the child who now receives home education, the report gives the family’s account of that decision and the child’s wellbeing. It does not provide further details about the circumstances, the school’s response or any formal findings.
Responding to a Child’s Distress
The report recommends looking beyond a behavior change and speaking with a child in a way that gives them room to describe events in their own words. A parent can ask what has been happening with friends or at school, listen without dismissing the concern, and seek further help if distress persists. No single response fits every family, and the article does not offer a guarantee that a particular conversation or intervention will resolve bullying.
Kopelman strongly recommends seeking professional support if a child expresses self-hatred or refuses school. The report does not specify a single service or treatment; families can discuss the situation with an appropriate professional and, where relevant, the school. The feature offers no new policy announcement or follow-up investigation. Its next step for readers is to take sustained distress seriously and find out more from the child rather than relying on a checklist.
Key Questions
What changes might prompt a parent to check in with a child?
The report describes possible signs including unusual anger, withdrawal, self-critical comments, school avoidance, spending less time with friends and attempts to hide a feature of appearance. None confirms bullying on its own.
How many children in the cited figures experienced bullying?
ONS estimates cited by MadeForMums say that in the year ending March 2023, 35% of children aged 10 to 15 in England and Wales experienced an in-person bullying behaviour and 19% experienced an online bullying behaviour.
How many affected children did not tell anyone?
Among children who experienced bullying behaviours, the cited ONS figures say 14.7% did not tell anyone about in-person bullying and 18.1% did not tell anyone about online bullying.
Does a behavior change mean a child is being bullied?
No. The report says changes in behavior, appearance or emotional wellbeing may be indicators, but they do not necessarily mean bullying is taking place. Persistent or concerning changes are a reason to listen and ask what is going on.
When does the report recommend seeking professional support?
Kopelman strongly recommends professional support when a child is expressing self-hatred or refusing school. The report does not prescribe a specific service or treatment.
Source: rss
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